May Has Come and So Should You! The Beginner’s Guide to Masturbation May

By Danielle Simpson-Baker, MA, MFTI

Happy Masturbation May (a.k.a. your yearly reminder of how fun and pleasurable self-care can be)! If you’ve ever been curious about how to include self-pleasure in your self-care routine, keep reading because this post is for you. 

Self-pleasure, also known as masturbation, has often been stigmatized in society despite being a completely natural and healthy form of sexual expression. In fact, self-pleasure has many benefits, including that it: 

• Promotes self-love and appreciation for your body;
• Promotes self-awareness, especially when it comes to your sexual needs;

And promotes sexual wellness whether you’re partnered or single 
 
These are just a few examples to start, but some of the most important benefits about self-pleasure also include stress relief, self-exploration, enhanced connection to the self & reclaiming your sexuality. 
 
STRESS RELIEF 
 
One of the best benefits of self-pleasure is stress relief. When you orgasm, your brain releases endorphins that act as natural painkillers and mood enhancers, such as oxytocin and dopamine. This can lead to reduced stress and even help manage mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Additionally, self-pleasure has been shown to help people sleep better, boost the immune system, and even relieve menstrual cramps for people with uteruses. 
 

SELF-EXPLORATION & CONNECTION TO THE SELF 
 
Another crucial aspect of self-pleasure is its ability to strengthen the connection to self. When you take the time to explore your body and what feels good, you gain a deeper understanding of your desires and sexual preferences. This knowledge can enhance your sexual experiences with a partner and promote overall sexual satisfaction. 
 
Self-exploration is an essential part of self-pleasure; how will you know what you like if you don’t explore? By trying out different techniques, positions, and fantasies, you can discover what turns you on and what doesn't. This self-discovery can lead to increased confidence in your sexual relationships, and you may even find that your desires evolve over time. 
 
RECLAIMING YOUR SEXUALITY THROUGH SELF-PLEASURE 
 
Reclaiming sexual wellness is another important benefit of self-pleasure. For many people, there is a lot of shame and guilt attached to sexual desires, especially for those who have experienced trauma. For people with vulvas especially, our society has historically discouraged us from learning about our bodies and our sexuality, let alone enjoying either of them. Engaging in self-pleasure can be a way to reclaim sexual pleasure and empower oneself sexually.  
 
In addition to helping us overcome shame and guilt, self-pleasure can also help individuals explore their bodies and better understand their own sexual preferences and needs. This knowledge can be empowering and lead to more satisfying sexual experiences with the self and with partners. It's important to remember that self-pleasure is a normal and healthy part of human sexuality and everyone deserves to feel pleasure and fulfillment in their sexual lives, despite what society tells you. 
 
TIPS & TRICKS FOR THE CURIOUS “SELF-PLEASURER” 
 
If you're looking to switch up your self-pleasure routine, there are many options to explore. You can try different toys or positions, experiment with different fantasies or erotica, or incorporate breathing and mindfulness practices into your solo play. The key is to be open to exploring new things and to prioritize pleasure and self-love. 
 
In addition to trying new toys or positions and exploring different fantasies, you can also consider incorporating other sensory experiences into your self-pleasure routine. This might include playing music or lighting candles to create a more relaxing atmosphere, using different textures or temperatures in your self-touch, or even exploring new scents with aromatherapy. Whatever you choose to do, remember that self-pleasure is a form of self-care, and it's important to prioritize your pleasure and well-being. Don't be afraid to take the time to explore and experiment with what feels good to you. 
 
Tools such as serums, lubes and sex toys can enhance the self-pleasure experience. If you really want to up your self-pleasure game, The Honey Pot Company’s new Vulva Stimulating Serum is a plant-derived serum designed by people with vulvas, for people with vulvas. Gynecologist-tested and made from plant-derived ingredients like vitamin E and peppermint, this new serum is both safe for and kind to the skin. The purpose of the serum is to increase vulvar stimulation and sensitivity, so feel free to add it to your solo play to increase sensation and pleasure. 
 
If you want to decrease friction and make everything wetter and slipperier, consider adding lube to the experience. Whether you have trouble getting wet or not, lube is essential for making the experience more comfortable and enjoyable due to its ability to decrease discomfort & pain during penetration. There’s a misconception in our society that only those who experience vaginal dryness “need” lube, but the truth is, lube is for every body – and that goes for both solo and partnered play. 
 
Sex toys like vibrators, rabbits, bullets and clit stimulators (and more!) can provide different sensations and intensify pleasure. I’d recommend experimenting with a few to find what you like, whether it's a vibrating toy, a suction toy or an air-pulse toy. Once you find your favorite toy and get confident using it on your own, a pro tip is to consider introducing it to your partner. Take some time to show them how to use it on you to increase the likelihood of you both having an orgasm during sex.  
 
Hopefully, this post has inspired you to explore the wonderful world of self-pleasure. Remember - pleasure is your birthright and embracing your sexual well-being is an essential part of self-care! 
 
If you’re craving more insights, tips and guidance on living your best sex life, make sure you visit our sexual wellness page. We aim to provide valuable resources, expert advice and product recommendations carefully curated to help you embark on a journey of self-discovery and sexual satisfaction!